Know it, Name it, Stop it
by YaoiFanGirl1990
Summary: January is National Stalking Awareness Month. This is my story told through the eyes of the d-gray-man characters. Simple as that. I know this is being posted early but I feel this should be brought to attention. Maybe my story can help you. ( Yullen )


Know it, Name it, Stop it

Summary: January is National Stalking Awareness Month. This is my story told through the eyes of the d-gray-man characters. Simple as that. I know this is being posted early but I feel this should be brought to attention. Maybe my story can help you. ( Yullen )

Author's Note: Hey my readers. I have taken a break on all my other fics, because I feel like I should get this out there. This is not going to be easy, but I do need the closure. In this fic I have changed some things because I don't fully feel completely comfortable everyone KNOWING what happened to me. But I will be placing the characters in the same scenarios I have faced over these long years.

Fic Warnings: Stalking, Physical/Mental/Sexual Abuse, Self Harm, Drug use, Alcohol use

* * *

Prologue: 25 to Life (watch?v=BHUCIs-aJzo)

"Nine years, to the eyes of a normal person it's not very long. But, when you live your life day in and day out with nothing but fear? Nine years, is a long, long time. The situation you're forced to live does things to your mind. It changes your outlook on life and how you see others. You even stop trusting those you once trusted, not knowing who is your friend and who is actually out to hurt you. How do you live like that I wonder?" Allen sat the words coming from his mouth in a forced manner, tears threatening to spill over his already red swollen lids.

"Did you have anyone you could confide in? Someone you _knew_ you could trust?" Nine asked resting the clip board into her lap. She watched the boy before her carefully. She was only doing this because she owed someone a favor. That's what she told herself at least. But, looking at the boy in front of her with dead eyes already on the verge of tears. She knew, she _knew_ that this wasn't going to be easy. Even for her.

"Of course I did! And it was from the person I had least expected it honestly. Actually, it was a group of people I never thought would be there. Most of them I knew from just seeing them around school, others we couldn't stand each other. But, they rose above all those who were supposed to be there for me and they made me realize who I should be calling my real friends. That group is still there for me, helping me." He had to turn his head away and stare blankly out the window his hands fisting into his blank cotton sweats. He would have perferred to be dressed in different clothes, but that wasn't possible, not while he was in here.

"Do any of them know you're here? You were in a pretty bad state when your uncle and cousin carried you in." Nine watched as a sad smile danced its way across the young teens mouth. His eyes held so much sadness and starred out the window. But he wasn't looking at what was outside but somewhere much further, to a place in his mind.

"Of course, my cousin is one of the ones part of the group helping me. He's probably already told everyone. I _do_ leave today doctor, at least if you give me permission to." He answered, his fists clenching and unclenching.

"I don't see why not, but Allen can you tell me. Who are the ones who pushed you to the state of wanting to kill yourself?" Nine _hated_ asking this question, she usually never got a straight answer. Most of the time her patients would shrug their shoulders.

"I didn't want to kill myself, in my alcohol induced mind I wasn't aware on how deep I had cut. All I could think was they had been in my house, they had been standing over me and watching me sleep. All without alerting my large quantity of a family. I can't say 100% of who they were, but I have a feeling. I just can't prove it until I am able to see their faces." Allen's voice was smooth and even, but you could hear the fear and pain. Nine looked down at her clipboard of the police report on the boys kidnapping the past summer which just ended. It in detail, spoke of what he remembered happening, but he was unable to recall faces or voices. The incident she had read pulled at her heart. But, she was unable to bring up the events. She didn't want the boy reliving the moment yet. She could only close her eyes and sigh.

Allen walked down the steps of the hospital his hands stuffed into his pockets, bandages lined up his arms all the way to past his elbows. Dark circles surrounded his eyes, showing how much sleep he had missed. The look in his eyes was the same far away look he had in the office room where he spoke with his therapist Dr. Klaud Nine. Usually he only saw her every six months. But after some strings were pulled by his godfather, a colleague of hers, he now will be seeing her once a month.

"Hey..." Allen stopped and looked up to see a teen around his age. Long dark hair and dark eyes.

"Hey Kanda." His voice came out low and unsure. The other male pushed off from his car and walked to the white haired teen gently pulling him into his arms.

"Why didn't you call me? I could have came to you?" He asked, his fingers gently tracing over the bandages on Allen's arms.

"I thought about it for sure at some point during the night, but well once I got alcohol into me which mixed with the meds I'm already on...well we saw how that ended." He explained his eyes averting to look at Kanda's fingers. He didn't pull away, he _knew_ the other wouldn't hurt him. Kanda sighed and loosely wrapped his arm around Allens shoulders leading the younger to his car.

"You missed classes today, but Lavi has a swim match. You're going so no bitching. You can wear my Letterman so no one stares at your arms. I know you're going to want to hide them, and I don't blame you just...Lenalee already knows to and she's probably going to smother you so be prepared." Kanda ran down the plans and details for Allen. Allen only shrugged and slid into the front seat, the dark haired teen shutting the door. The younger waited until they were moving before spoke again.

"Have any of...them...asked about me?" He asked folding his arms around his waist.

"Oh yea they've asked about you. And I fucking chased them away each time. Shit Allen fucking forget about their sorry asses already! Those _friends_ of yours don't care about you, only time they do is when they need you. Kind of hoping that with all of us in university now you'd find your way out of their stupid toxic circle." Kanda jumped right into his rampage, and Allen found himself letting out a small chuckle.

"I did leave their circle, I was just curious. Did you make Tewaku cry again? Madaro probably tried to kill you if you did." Allen had closed his eyes, his head leaned back against the head rest of the seat.

"No, she wasn't one of the ones who had began to badger me and the baka usagi about you and why you hadn't started classes yet." Kanda was grinding his teeth now as they entered onto the freeway.

"Link and Tokusa?" Allen asked, his breath hitching in his throat, his hands becoming sweaty.

"And some upper classman named Cardinal, but everyone on the chess team calls him _Apocrophys_ for some damn reason. You're the one going into the chess team have you heard anything on this guy?" Kanda calmed down a bit now glancing over to Allen and saw the other nod his head.

"Chaoji, he's supposed to be my roomming mate during competition. He said the guy is some sort of genius and usually beats all his opponents in about 15 to 20 moves. He's the sole reason the school is undefeated." Allen remembered the conversation he had with Chaoji during the last week of his senior year. Kanda, Lavi and Lenalee had graduated the year before so he had been stuck with Link, Tewaku and Tokusa for his last year of high school. Thats when things got crazy, but he had never said anything until after he was saved from his kidnapping. And then the night when he received that picture text showing him sleeping in his bed. He was trying not to remember that night a week ago.

"Ha! Do any of them know that you can beat someone in as little as 10 moves and thats why you still have other schools after you?" Kanda barked out a laugh taking an exit and pulling up to a stop light.

"No, only the teachers who over see the team know. Something about keeping my abilities a secret, besides I'm not going to be doing competitions much since my major is in music composition and my minor is in criminal justice. I won't have much time, besides some of the chess teams competitions land on the same competitions as my music classes. And I'm sorry but music comes first." Allen scoffed his arms now crossed over his chest. Kanda fell silent his features becoming unreadable.

"You're doing it again, suppressing your feelings. You don't have to hide when its just us Moyashi." Kanda whispered reaching out and pushing his fingers into Allens hair, manuevering the boys hair to behind his ears.

"I know, when I'm ready though. Everything is still just so...fresh. Kanda, you're the best to have ever happened to me. _Shit_ , nine fucking years that this crap has been going on." His voice cracked and the white haired was using the bottom of his palms to wipe the tears from his eyes now.

"We'll find them Allen, I promise. Those fuckers won't get away with what they have done to you. Even if I have to move in with you at your uncles house I fucking will!" Kanda growled leaning over and pecking the younger on the lips before sitting back as the light changed to green.

It wasn't much longer till they pulled up to their school, Black Order University, the parking lot was pretty much packed and they had to park all they way in the back. You could here chanting coming from the front of the school of students cheering about who was going to win the match. Allen rolled his and slipped his hand into Kanda's pant pocket while the other slid his arm around the others shoulders again. They were about to enter crowded territory and neither wanted to be separated from the other. The two avoided the heavy crowds by going around and using a back entrance to where the pool was. The stands were packed with students from all five schools.

"Jesus, I never would have thought swim-team of all sports to be this insane." Allen groaned moving to stand even closer to Kanda.

"No lie, Lenalee swore though that Lavi was going to be on the chess team and you on the swim-team. But, no you two geniuses switch on us again." Kanda laughed leading the other up a set of stairs on the bleachers making sure to maneuver Allen over to where he had already spotted their large group of friends. The moment he was sitting Allen was engulfed into a hug from both sides.

"Good afternoon Lenalee, Road." Allen groaned again scrunching up his nose. He heard a low chuckle and turned his head to see his dark skinned cousin.

"Shut your face Tyki it's not funny!" Allen's voice came out whiny.

"Well you're back to normal for sure!" Tyki's voice came out loud and boisterous. Allen rolled his eyes and looked back to the pool when everyone began cheering and jumping to their feet. The first match had already begun. Road and Lenalee had let go of him to join in with the cheering and jumping. Rooting for the swimmers from their school on.

* * *

There were at least four other matches before it was finally Lavi's turn. That was the only time Kanda and Allen jumped to their feet to scream out Lavi's nickname, Baka Usagi, out as loud as they could. You could see the red head turn his head to the stands and give his trademark strike pose before he readied himself. And then the buzzer sounded off and the swimmers were off. All of them were filled with so much adrenaline that the race was over in no time, Lavi came in second, another swimmer from their school coming in first. And the races carried on, Lavi swimming three more times coming in first for two of them. By the time they were leaving it was dark outside and there was a small half circle formed around Allen as they stood in the parking lot by Lavi's pickup waiting for the red head to come out.

" _ALLEN MY LOVE!_ " The white haired teen was prepared when he was wrapped in strong arms lifted off of the ground and spun around. Allen winced from how tightly Lavi had hugged onto him, but this was one of his best friends so he let the other. That is until Kanda had managed to separate him from the hyper red head growling profanities at Lavi.

"He is _not_ your love Baka Usagi!" Kanda growled looking as deadly as ever.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding! It's just we haven't seen our little man in over a week!" Lavi laughed reaching out to hug Allen only to be blocking off by Road now who was glarring some serious daggers at the other now.

"Back off Lavi!" She hissed sticking her tongue out at the other, Lavi letting out a distressed whine that everyone was just so mean to him.

"Don't worry Lavi, I still love you." Tyki laughed playfully putting his arms around the red heads shoulders.

"You would the two of you _are_ dating right?" Lenalee giggled watching the two faces become quite red red.

" _Shut up_!" They both yelled earning more giggles and laughs from everyone. Allen found himself trully smiling now standing there with his head resting on Kanda's shoulder.

"Hey Walker long time no see, where have you been hiding?!" And then his smiling and happy moment was gone, everyone becoming rigid. Everyone turned seeing the group walking up to them. Allen could feel the heavy feeling in his chest, seeing his now ex-boyfriend walking closer and closer to them.

"Good evening Howard, I wouldn't have expected to see any of you at sporting event." He spoke, the horrid politeness coming out tenfold now.

"I could say the same about you, you were never much for athletics until Kanda here convinced you to join Kendo when you were a junior." Link spoke dryly shooting a look over to the dark haired teen. Allen remembered it was the summer before his junior year when he and Link had broken up and he slowly merged into Kanda's band of friends and then at the beginning of school he began dating the Kendo Champion.

"People change Howard, and we have both agreed that we're not good for each other. And you promised you'd start leaving me alone now that we're in college." Allen spoke evenly, trying to keep his nerves in check when Link was now looking back over to him with a heavy look.

"We agreed? If I recall it was _you_ who had broken it off, I was still willing to work on our relationship. But instead you're the one who broke _my_ heart. I would have devoted myself to you Allen." And the blond was doing it again, the guilting.

" _Stop it_!" Was all he could muster out before glancing up to Kanda, his arm sliding around the others waist. "Can you take me home?" He then asked his voice small and shaky.

Kanda moving his head to glare briefly at Link then nodded his head, wrapping his arm around Allens waist protectively. He nodded his head to Tyki and Lavi who turned to face the other group as Tewaku began to yell at Allen that he was the one who was at fault not them. Allen could only place his hands over his ears to try and block out the yells, the accusations. Kanda didn't say a word as he hurried Allen to his car, knowing Link would push past their other two friends and be over to them. They didn't need another fight. And luckily this night, there wasn't and soon they were back on the freeway heading to the country side where Allen lived with his cousins and uncle.

"You're safe now Moyashi, I promise." Kanda whispered keeping his arm around the others shoulder. He knew his boyfriends predicament wasn't close to being over, but he now could say he was going to be there.


End file.
